In my last post I discussed my negative views on romance. I said romance sucks and called it pretentious. The responses I received pointed out some great points. One reader told me that romance is a factor in love, it is not love. I liked that point and it made me feel hopeful. The point of me bringing this up is not to get back on the topic, but to point out a funny, but ironic story. Here is what love brought for one couple.
Watch this video!
I feel myself being overwhelmed with apathy lately. I’m finding it a chore to return phone calls, I avoid conversation, I lack excitement, and I won’t allow my mind to process thought—rather I play music full blast and just listen. I live a great life, but my problem is anxiety. I cannot do the same thing for too long. Los Angeles is my dream town, but the life I am pursuing is unrealistic if some significant income isn’t a resource. I have an awful love/hate relationship with home. I know that I should go back to Ohio and get my degree, but I cannot get over the idea of being there again. I continue to have my friends and family ask me what is wrong, but I refuse to answer the question. I’ve avoided talking to anyone all day. This has nothing to do with being upset at anyone. The only person I am mad at is me. I fear going home to be viewed as a failure or a joke. I fear to go home with the feeling that I quit. A good friend, who I’ve ticked off, told me that me going home isn’t quitting, just building more of a foundation so I can come back stronger than ever. I agree with that, but why can’t I believe it?
I've typed four paragraphs and deleted them all. I'm clearly tapped out and not in the mood to write. Take care everyone.
Quoted. Libba Bray, The Sweet Far Thing
2 months ago