In my last post I discussed my negative views on romance. I said romance sucks and called it pretentious. The responses I received pointed out some great points. One reader told me that romance is a factor in love, it is not love. I liked that point and it made me feel hopeful. The point of me bringing this up is not to get back on the topic, but to point out a funny, but ironic story. Here is what love brought for one couple.
Watch this video!
I feel myself being overwhelmed with apathy lately. I’m finding it a chore to return phone calls, I avoid conversation, I lack excitement, and I won’t allow my mind to process thought—rather I play music full blast and just listen. I live a great life, but my problem is anxiety. I cannot do the same thing for too long. Los Angeles is my dream town, but the life I am pursuing is unrealistic if some significant income isn’t a resource. I have an awful love/hate relationship with home. I know that I should go back to Ohio and get my degree, but I cannot get over the idea of being there again. I continue to have my friends and family ask me what is wrong, but I refuse to answer the question. I’ve avoided talking to anyone all day. This has nothing to do with being upset at anyone. The only person I am mad at is me. I fear going home to be viewed as a failure or a joke. I fear to go home with the feeling that I quit. A good friend, who I’ve ticked off, told me that me going home isn’t quitting, just building more of a foundation so I can come back stronger than ever. I agree with that, but why can’t I believe it?
I've typed four paragraphs and deleted them all. I'm clearly tapped out and not in the mood to write. Take care everyone.
2 months ago