Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Sanguine friend.

Process; a word formally defined as a systematic series of actions directed towards some end. I am in my own personal process of fulfillment, just as we all are. In this process, I go through cycles of up’s and down’s. As my readers can assume, I’ve been in the down spin of this cycle, however, my mood has, yet again, changed.

Sitting over a tiny (I swear it’s tiny) bowl of Frosted Flakes, I experienced a conversation with a long time friend that helped put my own experience into perspective. Tonight, after our conversation, I’ve dubbed her and me as the sanguine friends. Both of us sharing similar goals, we are able to share the spark that we both believe will ignite our own personal fire of success. The following is a list and description of what I thought I saw compared to what she made me actually see.

1) In my hometown, I was a big fish in a little pond. Although I left the pond, I took that big fish mentality with me to an extremely large pond. This mentality, although confident, is a slow demolisher of mental stability. Tessa helped me realize that I was trying to go 60 before any other speed. I need to slow down and reevaluate my route.

2) I’ve learned that regardless of where I am, I’m constantly looking somewhere else, for something different. It isn’t where I am that is important, rather what I am doing in my surroundings. I am going to start making more of my time, whether or not I am content with where I am. Although the present is important, I will humbly do whatever it takes to pursue my desired future. In Los Angeles or at home…I will keep my eye on the dream and understand that everything from a-z is a chance to build a more solid foundation.

3) Tessa also helped me get a step closer to being over my insecurity of being out of college. Lately, I’ve felt completely trapped since leaving college. Tessa reminded me that I am intelligent, regardless of when I obtain my degree.

Although she has made me realize so much more, I am going to wrap up her teachings with this quote from her. Right when I let myself believe that this journey was going to be easy, Tessa reminded me of the hard work it will take. She summed it up perfectly like this

“…it sucks really, but I think that after a good amount of time with your/my nose to the grindstone in any situation whether it’s waiting tables, working the elevator, doing standup, being a Disney prince... we're going to be glad that no one handed us success”


Lately, I've lost touch with who I really am inside. Talking to Tessa, someone who knows me extremely well, I was introduced to my inner, ambitious and driven self.

If you are interested in reading some of her work, get to know Tessa as she makes complete sense in 'Practically Nonsense.'

Tessa's dream is to be a stand-up comedian, a position I know she can do with full force. I've been lucky enough to see several comedy shows in the past couple of weeks. It reminds me how much comedy and laughing can lift spirits. I allowed myself to dwell in my slow process, but now I am just going to keep laughing. Life is a rigid game we all have to play--we can either fall under the pressure, or laugh over every road bump. I am going to work hard to getting back to laughing.

My friends, as I slowly fall alseep right on my computer, I wish you the best. I wish you the best in laughter, in pursuit and in life. Thank you for all you have taught. Apparently, I need my friends more than I ever have. Take care!

Nick James

10 comments:

tessa_orzech said...

I really loved this post. I know that I personally suck the big one at blogging as I do at reading blogs (mainly, and solely, yours) but I try to catch up. I'm glad and uplifted by your newfound (but always present) attitude towards success. It IS hard, obviously, but I want nothing more than for you to get down to the absolute basic "i need to survive out here" mentality because I know that you can handle it. It's hard. And you're not going to have the stability and recognition you're used to. I hate that you don't even have a bookshelf to call your own but at the same time I'm so proud of you for acknowledging it. I think we've both realized that it takes actual work to pursue that which you may naturally excel at. The whole "i'm a natural thing" only goes so far and I think it was good for both of us to re-realize that. I'm sure a very wise man (who clearly didn't receive proper accolades) once said this but hard work is the true measure of a man (or woman, thank you very much). I'm thoroughly stoked to see where that hard work and never-give-up mindset takes both of us. Although it will probably take us each someplace relatively and temporarily unglamourous, it will remind us of the goal we share and the fire we try to keep lit under each other's asses. To wrap this up I'm just going to say that Nick, I'm really inspired by you in general and I'm happy to be able to provide you with any kind of support or encouragement or reminders that you might need. While I have no doubt in my mind that you can do whatever it is you dream of I also am acknowledging the unmissable amount of work (blood, sweat, and tears baby) that it will take to get there. You know that I love you no matter what, but my faith in you- both currently and who you aspire to be- is unfailing. I'm grateful that we can continue to look to each other for anything: peptalks, laughs, realism, support, or reminders of who we are. I can't think of a really good way to end this post, and posting a link to that video for "i believe i can fly" seems cliche so I'll just say PEACE right here. okay love you.

Audrey said...

Big hug to Tessa. Thank you for supporting our friend Nick!
Nick, I quoted this once before (can't rememember if it was to you - if so, I apologize) but I love this quote and remind myself of if often - "there is no growth in the comfort zone and no comfort in the growth zone." Attaining our dreams is a painful process at times. Be clear what it is you want and go for it.
Big hugs to you,
audrey
xoxoxo

~Sheila~ said...

I know you're probably just frustrated that things aren't going they way you want at this particular time.
Just be patient.
My son and I deal with anxiety issues because of our ADD and ADHD. It's hard to wait.
I'm working on my patience. I'm teaching him to work on his by rationalizing with him.

Just be patient.

CLAY said...

You know how to catch fish, don't you Nick? ---With a wide net, and a good nap.
Cheers!

Snowbrush said...

Was it really your friend who was the source of these revelations, or was it the Frosted Flakes? Tony DEFINITELY had a big fish mentality; I don't know if he ever changed ponds though.

Terri T said...

sometimes it takes an outsiders perspective from a good friend to teach us the most personal things about ourselves. Funny.

Mmm said...

I'm so glad you visited my blog, Nick. (Aside from the fact its rare for me to have that many guys ever interested in anything I have to share! LOL.) You are indeed an excellent, thoughtful writer and i love your gentleness and refection here. (hey, you remind me of myself when at your age! Ha.)

I love what your friend says too. Believe me, at my age I've seen people handed success (inheritance, growing up with alot) and those like myself who have had to work every bit of the way to get anything with no hand outs ever. I look at the latter group as necessarily having to reach deeper and grow farther. Character is forged in challenge.

BTA, i did want to comment on how much I loved your profile:
"I have a genuine interest in individuals and work to learn from everyone I meet. At a young age, I’ve worked hard and created an existence that I am proud about."
--Lovely.

Barry said...

Good friends are a blessing, Nick. Good friends with a sense of humour at the professional level are a treasure beyond compare!

Natalie said...

Thanks for being a friend to me, Nick. Very much appreciated.xx

Anonymous said...

Nick, my mother always said
"hard work never killed anyone!" I have experienced it in my life and I'm still working on it! As you know I am a good example of it and I still continue to strive to obtain new goals in my life. Hang in there for you are worthy!