Process; a word formally defined as a systematic series of actions directed towards some end. I am in my own personal process of fulfillment, just as we all are. In this process, I go through cycles of up’s and down’s. As my readers can assume, I’ve been in the down spin of this cycle, however, my mood has, yet again, changed.
Sitting over a tiny (I swear it’s tiny) bowl of Frosted Flakes, I experienced a conversation with a long time friend that helped put my own experience into perspective. Tonight, after our conversation, I’ve dubbed her and me as the sanguine friends. Both of us sharing similar goals, we are able to share the spark that we both believe will ignite our own personal fire of success. The following is a list and description of what I thought I saw compared to what she made me actually see.
1) In my hometown, I was a big fish in a little pond. Although I left the pond, I took that big fish mentality with me to an extremely large pond. This mentality, although confident, is a slow demolisher of mental stability. Tessa helped me realize that I was trying to go 60 before any other speed. I need to slow down and reevaluate my route.
2) I’ve learned that regardless of where I am, I’m constantly looking somewhere else, for something different. It isn’t where I am that is important, rather what I am doing in my surroundings. I am going to start making more of my time, whether or not I am content with where I am. Although the present is important, I will humbly do whatever it takes to pursue my desired future. In Los Angeles or at home…I will keep my eye on the dream and understand that everything from a-z is a chance to build a more solid foundation.
3) Tessa also helped me get a step closer to being over my insecurity of being out of college. Lately, I’ve felt completely trapped since leaving college. Tessa reminded me that I am intelligent, regardless of when I obtain my degree.
Although she has made me realize so much more, I am going to wrap up her teachings with this quote from her. Right when I let myself believe that this journey was going to be easy, Tessa reminded me of the hard work it will take. She summed it up perfectly like this
“…it sucks really, but I think that after a good amount of time with your/my nose to the grindstone in any situation whether it’s waiting tables, working the elevator, doing standup, being a Disney prince... we're going to be glad that no one handed us success”
Lately, I've lost touch with who I really am inside. Talking to Tessa, someone who knows me extremely well, I was introduced to my inner, ambitious and driven self.
If you are interested in reading some of her work, get to know Tessa as she makes complete sense in 'Practically Nonsense.'
Tessa's dream is to be a stand-up comedian, a position I know she can do with full force. I've been lucky enough to see several comedy shows in the past couple of weeks. It reminds me how much comedy and laughing can lift spirits. I allowed myself to dwell in my slow process, but now I am just going to keep laughing. Life is a rigid game we all have to play--we can either fall under the pressure, or laugh over every road bump. I am going to work hard to getting back to laughing.
My friends, as I slowly fall alseep right on my computer, I wish you the best. I wish you the best in laughter, in pursuit and in life. Thank you for all you have taught. Apparently, I need my friends more than I ever have. Take care!
Quoted. Libba Bray, The Sweet Far Thing
5 weeks ago