Thursday, July 16, 2009

The California Moon

Staring out at the California moon, I feel more human than ever. The silhouettes of the mountains dance upon the stillness of the night, just as my soul dances along the lining of my dreams. The chaos of the city night echoes dominantly, but tonight I only hear the air enter and exit my body. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. My chest fills up as my mind flows with memories and thoughts. While it may look like I am staring blankly, the truth is I am deeply in contact with the road I travel. I stare back at the simplicity of being a child. I remember the smell of the first day of school. The nerves I felt on my first date. The pain I felt during my first real fight with a friend. The anxiety I felt as i entered my first college classroom. The joy I felt when I was with the ones I love. I remember the hope I felt when I first moved away. From then to now, I see a complexity that has harvested a life that confuses me, and that I love.

It is overwhelming for me to think about what my mind was going through about seven months ago. I believe my biggest concern was that I called my parents to check in with them and to tell them where I was. Maybe I was stressed as I worked on finishing another semester of school. Or was I distracted with the joy I felt as I traveled Ohio performing for a radio station? It was all so simple then. I didn't realize it at the time, but looking back from this point in time, it was so easy.

It didn't take long for simple nights out to turn into surviving in an extremely busy city. Or for term papers to turn into bills on the counter. It didn't take long at all. I feel more grown up than ever as I soon will be moving into my first apartment. August 1st, I will go from a squatter to a resident at a beautiful apartment. And I'll have a car to go with it. This is all exciting, but it all means that i will be spending more money. More money means more work, which means less time to audition and practice. I will manage though, as usual.

In the intensity of my new responsibilities, I'm learning, very much, to appreciate my ability to land on my feet. There was a time when I doubted my ability to achieve big things, but not anymore. The past six months have been such a test of my will power and desire. I've managed to work many hours at two different jobs. One which requires a 2:00AM, 2 mile walk home through the city. Another which teaches me to wake up and function at 5:00AM. I've had my abilities judged my numerous casting directors. I've been picked and pulled on by top industry photographers and hairdressers. I've been promised things that were never even close to coming true. I've sang my guts out in a recording studio. I've stood tall and fallen hard, but I'd rather die trying to stand than to rest for a day on my knees. Although everything doesn't pan out, the winds of my future will certainly blow in the direction that I believe they will. This isn't a far shot. My ambitions are coming true, and it is more apparent everyday.

Life doesn't always happen the way it should. The "way it should" is actually only the way you think it should. Once we clear our minds of of we think things should happen and just open our minds to see how things pan out naturally, we will end up feeling more triumph than failure. I set goals, and many at that, but i never lay a trail of how I think they will be achieved. I simply make attempts, give effort and hope for the best. I think that practice and hope are the key ingredients in changing the winds of fate, but the simple fact is that the winds blow the way the winds blow. Follow the wind and see where you land. Keep your eye on your goals, make good decisions and one day you will get to where would like to be.

I got the chance to meet a person who had a dream and achieved his dream. Over a cup of coffee, the following statement was offered to me.

"If you can see it, it is done. Now all you have to do is get there."

As the moon keeps rising, my thoughts keep racing. Twenty years have flown by. I live an enchanted life. Although the sky is dark, and the future is hard to see, I know that the sun will rise and it is rising for me.

Here is my music suggestion of the moment. My buddy Brin plays in this band, but with an unbiased opinion, I urge you to get connected with McClory.

Best of the best to you all, my friends.


Wednesday, July 15, 2009


Technology, without a doubt, is the reason the world is as advanced as it is. However, with all of the leaps technology has allowed us to take, I fear that the fall is equally significant.

The other day at work, while on my break, I saw something that truly broke my heart. A mother and her daughter were out to lunch together. You can see the spark in the daughters eye as to how excited she was to be sharing the afternoon with her mother. I kept observing their interaction, and I couldn't help but feel confused as the mother's mouth would move out of sync with the daughters mouth. Also, the mother never made eye contact, which really confused me. Upon looking closer I noticed that the mother was on the phone, on her blue tooth, just chatting away as her daughter sat there and stared over her mother's shoulder. I watched and watched, for about 20 minutes and noticed that the mother never got off of the phone. I couldn't help but feel sorry for the daughter and feel that the mother was, sorry to say, stupid. You can tell right away that the mother was one of those mothers who would rather feel young and fit into society, than accept that her daughter, who will grow up much to fast, could really be a good conversation. This ignorant, neglectful mother annoyed me so much that I had to shift my view just to enjoy the rest of my lunch.

My eyes instantly locked onto another table. There were four people, about my age, sitting there with big plates of food in front of them. I instantly drifted back to memories of my friends and I and my head was filled with great conversations and many laughs. Upon gaining focus again, I saw everyone, and I mean each and every person, sitting at the table glued to their smart phones. It was as though they weren't even aware that they were together.

As though what I have witnessed was not enough already, I counted numerous people hiding behind their laptop screens, cell phones and who knows what else.

I couldn't help but feel that we are slowly getting into a place where socialization is losing any importance. I think that we rely on technology so much that the glory we get from it supersedes that of true human interaction.

I read a quote from an American business woman, Mary Kate Ash.

"Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, 'Make me feel important.'"

This quote warmed my heart, because before even reading it, I've lived my life by that motto. If that mother realized how important her daughter was and the times they shared, she would have hung her phone right up. If that group of friends knew how rare those times they share now can become, they would have switched focus immediately. If the entire world payed attention to how important each and every one of us are, than we would live in a more loving society.

Each person I meet, I genuinely try to get to know. If it is one or two facts that I remember, the person will atleast know that I cared enough to pay attention to what they said.

Don't let technology and the ways of the world distract you from the moments that matter. Without moments, all we have is nothing.

Cherish the times that you may not have ever again. Keep in touch, stay connected and don't let the world become such a distant reality for all of us.