Moments of silence create chaos.

It's not in moments of chaos when I feel most lost; In moments of silence, I grow absolutely small and vulnerable. As my roots grow slowly in this new adventure, the term "starving artist" is truly taking definition. As far as its implied meaning of poor and hungry, I'm not too worried. What I am truly starving for is a social life that I can depend on; friends that are actually there; laughs I can count on; memories being built with someone to share them with . Knowing that thousands of miles away, my loved ones are continuing to experience many adventures together, despite my presence, makes being away seem impossible. Slowly watching myself turn into someone that I'm not ready to be is scary. It is a selfish way to act, but on nights like this one, I can't help it. I can't help that I was born a dreamer with unstoppable drive. The prize is still in my eyes, however everything I am passing in my speed is too. When you have to fend for yourself, you get a true dose of exactly what you are. You get to see what you can do for yourself, and what you once did for others. While I am happy with the prints I leave on my trail, I'm starting to look back and notice how shallow some of my steps have been; hence my loneliness. From here I can only grow and work to leave a better, bigger print in the world. I will work on moving forward without leaving anyone behind. It is the moments of silence that create this chaos in my mind.