Love something wildly today.

Just a few quick thoughts for the evening. Consider these following bullet points when dealing with other people.

-Be excited for another person in a genuine way. If someone constantly cheers you on, asks follow up questions in regards to situations in your life or even just encourages you often, do the same for them. They aren't looking for you to, but it feels good to know that the person you root for may be rooting for you too.

-Be consistent. If you are dealing romantically with someone, know what you want and act upon it. If you are sure you are interested in pursuing someone, call them, keep in touch with them, flirt, etc. If you are unsure about the person, tell them you are unsure. It is not proper or polite to make someone fall for you if you don't know that you'll be there to catch them. Return phone calls, MAKE phone calls, listen to them and remember what you hear and always communicate. Most of the time, it is a lot easier to find your way home when you haven't walked too far down the path. Don't walk someone to the middle of the forrest and leave them there.

-Small things count. Throughout your day, no matter how busy you think you are, perform small acts that let your friends or loved ones know that they matter. The very thing that keeps us disconnected in a real way, can be used in a good way to let that special someone know you are thinking about them. Call them, if you have five minutes. Text them, if you have a few minutes. Facebook them, if you have a two minutes. Twitter them, if you have 150 characters worth of time. The social patterns of todays world have made it so easy to communicate in micro ways. Do so, so as to not make the said person feel micro.

-Keep quiet. Your opinions are so important and they validate the fact that you are intelligent enough to think one way or another about something. THIS DOESNT MEAN YOU HAVE TO SHARE WITH OTHER PEOPLE. If you have a problem with something that is happening and it indirectly affects you, get over it. Put a pillow over your ears, turn up your Ipod, or take a nap. There is too much hate in this world and if every small things causes a reaction of yelling and hate, than this world is off to a terrible place. If something affects you directly, than handle it like an adult. Don't insult, terrorize or bring down another person. Talk it out. Together you and your opposer can reach a mature disagreement.

-Stay positive. Your life isn't bad, trust me. It isn't. We are in America where its hard to have a bad life. If you are sleeping, peeing and eating on a park bench, move on to the next bullet point. Smile at a stranger, it really will change your fate. Look at the bright side, which is often easier than you think. Laugh at life's ironies. If you think people are stupid, you are stupid too, trust me...we all are.

-Put your phone down. Enjoy the company of those around you. Make a habit of turning of your phone when you are spending time with someone. If everyone is like me, they will want to punch you when they stare at the back of your stupid phone all night. This applies to certain settings, such as dates, or one on one dinners at a less than fast-food vibe sort of restaurant.

-Control your children. If you manage to make a Taco Bell look terribly worst because your children are running about out of control, then fix the problem. Discipline will lead to the many wonderful things, including an early understanding of the great points featured in this post.

Love something wildly today. In other words, harvest passion. Put your heart and soul into something. Whether it be your work, your love or your hobbies-- do something so intensely that it becomes a SOLE representation of your soul. Leave your mark on something so solidly that you will know, that no matter what, you've created something unique to yourself. Nobody can take that from you. Love something wildly today. Everyday.

NB

Quick thoughts.

I understand more everyday, the power of working hard to get what you want. Its not all fate...its more so a mix of hope, which is belief that it can happen, and the actions you put behind it all to make it happen.

The view out my window.

Right now I am sitting on my bed, staring out the window. The temperature of the air as it inflates my lungs strikes me as familiar. Suddenly I'm a child again, staring out the window of the bedroom I grew up in. The familiar scenes of the cul-de-sac where I grew up became vivid. I saw myself playing catch with my father, learning to ride my bike, running around with my siblings as they dribbled a soccer ball or played street hockey with the other neighborhood kids. The air that inflated my lungs as I swung with my mother on the front yard swing is just like the air that I am inhaling right now.

I taste the foods of my childhood too. My grandmothers pasta dish that she cooked whenever occasion allowed. My mothers staple dishes that she so often prepared. I taste chocolate milkshakes sipped out of blue straws that my great grandmother served every summer afternoon I spent exploring the world of her home.

Today I'm looking back and livng every moment from there to now as best I can. I'd do anything to relive those moments. To hear my father speak to me like a child again, singing his famous "I love your little feet" song. Or to have my mother sit with me on the couch and rub my back as I tried to convince her of all my crazy ideas. I want to dance in the living room with my older sister, or "fight" in the yard with my brother and I want to spend my summer working my first job with my youngest sister again. I'd love to sit and hear the comedy of my gradmother as she joked about life in her recliner. I want the familiar banter of family friends crowded around the kitchen table playing poker and laughing relentlessly. I want all of those moments back again so I can truly understand what they meant and how amazing they were. I want to go back and have every conversation again and appreciate what everyone was saying, the ideas they were teaching me. I want to never have raised my voice to my folks or disrespected them in anyway. I wish I made no excuses and visited my grandparents more.

I want the smells, tatstes and sounds of my childhood back. Because the view out my window today isn't comfort, it isn't home. Here I sit today, moved so far forward but I cannot look anywhere but back.

I wear watches with no batteries in them, because I find it hard to carry the reminder of time with me. Because I've had some amazing moments in time, but I can never have them back.

Fireworks.

I was reminded of how fortunate my life on this planet is. It hit me on a hot Arizona night, in a truck bed watching fireworks, surrounded by people I love. As we all shared each other’s company and the view of Fourth of July fireworks blasting over the pitch black silhouettes of the mountains, I looked around and couldn’t help but cherish the memory being made, and all of the memories made before this perfect night. Perhaps it was the still of the night, or the absence of Los Angeles’s sky rises, but everything that is good was clear to me for the first time, in quite some time. Every deadline, headline, responsibility, place to be , time restriction, feeling of rejection, feeling of stress, and the list goes on and on ,disappeared; standing where all of the negativity was, was the blatant truth of life’s big secret. Give love, receive love and cherish the moments with those you share love with. A true mark of success is not solely the amount of recognition you receive, or the big paycheck you earn; success is letting people in who support you, love you and are enthused by every step you take towards where you want to be.

I have the best support system in the world. On my crazy adventure, I have had some of the most amazing people by my side through every action. What was truly remarkable about this specific weekend was the fact that I had, in one place, key individuals from each chapter of my life. An Individual who witnessed the day I was born, individuals who shared my life through middle school, high school, college and now my first steps into the real world, and an individual who joined the ride upon my arrival in Los Angeles. Standing in one place, it felt as though the ghost of life’s past and present came together to tell me that the future will be comprised of incredible moments and genuine happiness. I have faith in knowing that however they are connected, or why doesn’t matter. What matters most to me now is in these moments recognizing who loves me and who I love. I have just as many letters in a pile on my counter as a do bills, I have just as many struggles as I do triumphs and I have so much more ambition than fear…and through it all I have the biggest forces on my side: My family and my closest friends

And like fireworks, you are all a booming part of my life. No matter how dark the sky may be or how loud life can get, your presence will always dominate who I am with beauty and color.

I address this to you.

Thank you for pushing me, catching me, guiding me, letting me get lost, and being there for me with open arms when I come back from being lost. If ever I am down or stuck with muddle, I will always think of you and become the best version of my past and present and will meet you in the future with gratitude and love.

Direction.

Sometimes you have a direction in mind; an idea about where your life is going. You see this direction and you can see yourself following it. Then suddenly it strikes you that every turn, even wrong ones are some sense of direction. No matter which way you turn; left, right, right, wrong, you will end up facing the fact that you will experience something that will teach you something and guide you somewhere.

I encourage everyone to have goals. Not a mystery of life. With a place to go, we are more likely to move towards somewhere. By moving somewhere, we never settle in acceptance of where we naturally are. It is a beautiful part of life. The idea that we can be somewhere pre-determined for us and with a little bit of elbow grease and a whole lot of hope we can alter it and become somewhere where we truly can find happiness.

Don't be afraid to take an alternate route. A dream is a destination. The journey to the dream will never be solidified. Embrace where life takes you, move forward with passion, with your dream in mind. Any movement at all, is something to be appreciated.

N.B

Happy?

Happy: A book I am reading and a journey I am on. Breath for breath I am experiencing more each day. Each "more" is making me more or less of what I was before. And in the abundance of responsibility and goals to accomplish I try to find time to contemplate exactly what it all means. What about what I do makes me happy? Is it the thought that it will get me to something greater...or is it the idea that I will get discovered, get rich, get loved, or get better? Perhaps its simply the idea that the very people I rely on to love me will love me more...or at all. I know I am loved, so why is that not good enough? Some moments I try to be a greater person by playing my heart strings to create a symphony of tones I am proud of...on weaker days I play a violin to the thoughts of everything I don't have.

I wish I could spend more time filling my table with company I am honored to keep and conversation so wild it never leaves my memory or love so passionate I lose my breath, but I don't; I spend more time cementing a wall in front of me. This wall is intricately built...with just enough cracks in the middle that someone could see through a little...but if they choose to look thoroughly, they will only find the lights off...an unfortunate choice I make.

The "me" I present is happily alone, on a journey, on my own two feet....but the me that could truly be happy keeps wonderful company, speaks wildly, and loves passionately.

I need to let people back in. Thats what my mother keeps telling me. The last time she saw me, she said she could it in my eyes that I'm losing the ability to be touched, to truly let someone in. She is right. I don't feel.

Except right now.

At this very instance, I literally feel like there is a ball of concentrated energy just waiting to break outside of me. I can feel it shaking my legs as it makes a pursuit to my lungs in the form of a big burst of air just wanting to scream.

AHHHH!

I scream. I smile. I get what it is I need to accomplish personally. I will, eventually. When I can stop living for anything other than myself. When I can get over my fear of being loved by someone other than my family. Eventually I'll truly accept me and refuse to let anyone not accept me so much that I compromise what makes me smile.

I recently congratulated my sister for loving fearlessly...one day I will too.

Cheers my friends,

N.J.

Look up and see the sky.

We live in a world run by a society that I just cannot seem to understand. A man can’t be looked at without being assigned a definition based on what he looks like. A child may never get a chance because their parent couldn’t follow through. A woman cannot love another woman with the support of her fellow human. In one world, we are all so divided; and that I cannot understand.

Call me a dreamer, but I live my life with the idea that we all have the opportunity to seek what makes up happy. If a child wants to grow up and be the greatest basketball player ever, than they can or at least they can try. If a black man wants to be the president of a wonderful nation, than he can. If a man wants to express his love to another man, than he can, just like any other two people can. This is how I live my life and this is how I will teach my children to live theirs.

Many things are difficult to obtain in life; many things are becoming even more difficult to obtain. If money grew on trees, than there is a drought. If love was in the air, than the air supply is demolishing. If someone stumbles across happiness, than by God they deserve it.

Today I was walking down the street in an area where I may have been the only person who knew English well enough to live by it. My mind was crowded so I set out to relieve stress and get some fresh air. I was walking at such a pace my heart began pounding through my chest like a kick drum. My pace grew more intent with my thoughts and all of a sudden a woman caught my eye and smiled at me. As if all of the commotion in my mind hit a wall, I smiled back and, I kid you not, felt as though I could breathe for the first time today.

This changed the avenue that my thought process was taking completely. In an area where poverty is as apparent as traffic in a city, happiness is still available; and that woman and her smile showed me that directly. I started smiling at folks as we passed one another, and sure enough they smiled back. For the first time I noticed something that applies to everyone, not just me in this specific situation.

We all speak different languages in one way or another. Different things make different people happy. We all see the world around us with different perspectives and ideas. We all speak different languages.

No matter how I see things, I will never allow myself to deprive anyone from happiness, because it may be all they have. I will never ask a dog to stop wagging their tale, or ask a happy child to quiet their laughter, I’ll never let a smile go without a return and I will never tell someone their happiness isn’t okay. No matter what language I speak, my smile is universal and I will live by that. No matter how different I am from anyone around me, we both look up and see the sky. I will let that sky be the only limit we have.

I want this world to be a happy place, full of opportunities for everyone, equally.