Sunday kind of love.

I want a Sunday kind of love. Sunday’s make me so entirely relaxed. This Sunday, especially, has me feeling very happy. I woke up and prepared a perfect breakfast. I made the usual: Pancakes, sausage, turkey bacon, eggs, yogurt & banana parfaits, and, of course coffee. As usual, here is a little taste.




After breakfast I got cozy in my pajamas. I poured myself a cup of coffee and read my favorite blogs. As I was reading, it hit me…I read all of your blogs, everyday. As a testament to my enjoyment, I comment all of the blogs that I read. I hope you know how much I enjoy reading what you write. This brings me back to why I love Sunday’s so much. I can sit in my PJ’s and feel relaxed. I ran around all week and can finally feel content with sitting down. On other days, I live for the chase.

I live for the moments in life where hope chases reality. You can feel it in your gut. As reality tires, hope picks up its pace and life begins. Perhaps not begins, but is enhanced by the feeling of pursuit. The chase may end by one falling over the other, but at least the race was run.

With a new job beginning tomorrow, I am excited to continue running life's race.

Tonight our actors are coming over for rehearsal. This will be exciting, because our video director is flying in tonight and will be joining the process. I'm wrapped up in this project and am excited for each step of the process.

Today's post is going to be short, because I have to get to the gym before my day truly begins. Take care friends.

Nick James

Huge eye opener.

It is day two of painting, and luckily I’ve gotten away with my hands clean. Due to my job at the club, I’ve not been able to help out. However, I’ve been to Home Depot four times helping to pick out colors and materials. It is amazing how a place I’ve grown so familiar with is completely different simply because of the wall colors. It reminds me of my recently stated idea; it isn’t about changing locations, but changing perspectives. The apartment seems cozier, and the feeling of stability is settling in.

Something that I am not used from living in Cleveland is people standing outside of stores asking any passer-by if they had work. It is solid proof of the failing economy and huge eye opener as to how blessed I am to work.

I’ve finally obtained a fulltime job at Panera Bread in the area of marketing. I begin Monday and I am pretty excited. The logistics and job description will be explained to me Monday and I will share with you excitedly. I am truly blessed to have this opportunity considering my age and lack of degree. For all of us writers out there, WE ARE TALENTED. My writing ability was 50% the reason I’ve obtained this job. Hard work pays off—hopefully this job will too!

I have to say thank you to my blog friend Sheila. She recently honored me in her blog post "Just Killing Time." Sheila is a hard- working and proud mother. I’ve enjoyed her blog and think you all will too.

Thank you Audrey for this award! I will think about it and pass it on accordingly! Check out her new book blog too!



The weather in California isn’t in conjunction with my mood. With new opportunities on the horizon, I am feeling quite bright and cheery; the weather is cool and windy. My friends and family back in Ohio have enjoyed rubbing it in my face. I am happy they are feeling the warm weather, but my spirits are warm too!

As far as BWI’s film project, everything is going great. We have selected three talented actors. We have rehearsals all this weekend and week. Our videographer is flying in on Sunday night and preparing the apartment for the week of filming. I’m so excited for the next step to progress. I’ll be working hard on that, along with everything else.

I am very happy to have gone from bored to busy. I will now be working Monday-Friday during the day at Panera Bread, Thursday-Saturday (sometime Sunday) nights at the club! Things are looking up and I am ready to work hard. As we all continue through our pursuit, I hope you find opportunities to be excited and to try new things. Take care, friends.

Nick James

The Things You Deserve.

I will share a conversation I had today that is absolutely worth note. My roommate, who I will refer to as BWI, handled my current situation as follows.

NJ- Hey BWI, I think I am going to move back to Cleveland.

BWI- Uh, why?

NJ- Things just aren’t working out here, it isn’t logical for me to stay.

BWI- Ha, I knew you’d eventually prove me right.

NJ- Huh?

BWI- Nick, shut up with your failure attitude. You are starting Monday at my work (he runs a restaurant) and you are going to make it happen. Don’t be another failure.

NJ- BWI, thank you.

Apparently my run here is followed by several people who want me to stay and believe I can make something of it. If that conversation wasn’t a kick in the butt, I don’t know what is!

Today was a simple day. Two fellows are in from Ohio visiting one of my roommates. While he was at work, I spent time cooking and working out with them. It is nice to see some outside, but familiar faces.

After that BWI and I went to the hardware store and Target to pick up some odds and ends for the apartment. I bought something that I’ve wanted for a little while being out here. I purchased a beautiful and shiny crock pot. How cool is that? I can now make so many more recipes and feed my roommates more economically. I am excited for tomorrow to come just so I can start!

As of lately, to make use of my free time, I’ve been working on some independent projects. Naturally writing seems to be the cornerstone to most of my mini-projects. Today I have been drafting out my own line of greeting cards. For obvious reasons I won’t share what I’ve written, but I can tell you a little bit about my concept. I want to call the line of cards “The Things You Deserve.” They are “cutesy” sing-song poems that portray love as a cheesy and giddy fairytale. With titles such as “1 Year, Dear!” and “Falling towards love,” I believe these cards will appeal to those who have a playful and fun romance. As far as pursuing this further, I’m not sure how, but it is really fun to write. I will keep you updated with my progression.

Obviously, I am a HUGE fan of American Idol. As a faithful follower and idol wannabe, I value my knowledge and experience with the show. This season, with its new format and new faces, has yet to blow my mind. I believe in the artist on the show, but I cannot fathom what goes through their mind guiding them to their song choices. There is an age limit on the show, obviously so the talent is somewhat young. I believe in ballots and soulful songs, but if an artist is young, I want to see them be young! I have my favorites, and am interested to see what comes from this season. Any thoughts from fellow fans?

Tomorrow BWI’s actors are coming for the official first read through as a decided cast. I’ve had so much fun experiencing the process and look forward to tomorrow. Not only are these individual talented, but they are downright stellar people. After a few weeks of practicing, our videographer will be flying in from Ohio and I get to experience a new part of the process! I’ll keep you updated with the project!

I talked to a fellow acting friend and we are getting lunch soon. He is setting me up with a fantastic photographer to shoot new headshots. I don’t’ know if you’ve ever had headshots, but talk about a great time. The day of the shoot is all about YOU! You get to look your best and feel like a star. The truth is, great headshots boost a career indefinitely.

That is all then, but here is to now. Goodnight my friends, take care!

Nick James

When the ball starts rolling.

You know those moments in life that pass you by and leave you with feeling that air has hit your lungs for the first time? Something that has bogged you down consistently, beating and bruising your ability to process thought and function emotionally, but as soon as it is resolved you feel as though winter’s snow has melted into a warm, sunny spring day. Those are the moments where perspective is learned. Those are the moments that take average endeavors and turn them into life altering revelations. They teach us that although our surroundings were shaded by natures course, beauty and comfort lie beneath, waiting for us to believe in their ability to return again. It is an incredible eye opener when a place you’ve rested so long turns out to have been the most breathtaking place you’ve never noticed. Perhaps true appreciation in certain location does not lie in what is clearly offered, rather in the joy you find after re-visiting. My soul had been re-visiting a certain place, and the folks I’ve met along the way are helping me to respect myself, with no regard to what others may think. The paramount retrieval is that I am courageous and brave for trying, and that I can return to where I came from with nobility, experience, and new perspective. My near future is in thought process, but whenever the ball starts its journey down the hill, I know I will take the ride with absolute respect for myself, and confidence that I am, no matter what direction, headed towards the right path to happiness

Sanguine friend.

Process; a word formally defined as a systematic series of actions directed towards some end. I am in my own personal process of fulfillment, just as we all are. In this process, I go through cycles of up’s and down’s. As my readers can assume, I’ve been in the down spin of this cycle, however, my mood has, yet again, changed.

Sitting over a tiny (I swear it’s tiny) bowl of Frosted Flakes, I experienced a conversation with a long time friend that helped put my own experience into perspective. Tonight, after our conversation, I’ve dubbed her and me as the sanguine friends. Both of us sharing similar goals, we are able to share the spark that we both believe will ignite our own personal fire of success. The following is a list and description of what I thought I saw compared to what she made me actually see.

1) In my hometown, I was a big fish in a little pond. Although I left the pond, I took that big fish mentality with me to an extremely large pond. This mentality, although confident, is a slow demolisher of mental stability. Tessa helped me realize that I was trying to go 60 before any other speed. I need to slow down and reevaluate my route.

2) I’ve learned that regardless of where I am, I’m constantly looking somewhere else, for something different. It isn’t where I am that is important, rather what I am doing in my surroundings. I am going to start making more of my time, whether or not I am content with where I am. Although the present is important, I will humbly do whatever it takes to pursue my desired future. In Los Angeles or at home…I will keep my eye on the dream and understand that everything from a-z is a chance to build a more solid foundation.

3) Tessa also helped me get a step closer to being over my insecurity of being out of college. Lately, I’ve felt completely trapped since leaving college. Tessa reminded me that I am intelligent, regardless of when I obtain my degree.

Although she has made me realize so much more, I am going to wrap up her teachings with this quote from her. Right when I let myself believe that this journey was going to be easy, Tessa reminded me of the hard work it will take. She summed it up perfectly like this

“…it sucks really, but I think that after a good amount of time with your/my nose to the grindstone in any situation whether it’s waiting tables, working the elevator, doing standup, being a Disney prince... we're going to be glad that no one handed us success”

Lately, I've lost touch with who I really am inside. Talking to Tessa, someone who knows me extremely well, I was introduced to my inner, ambitious and driven self.

If you are interested in reading some of her work, get to know Tessa as she makes complete sense in 'Practically Nonsense.'

Tessa's dream is to be a stand-up comedian, a position I know she can do with full force. I've been lucky enough to see several comedy shows in the past couple of weeks. It reminds me how much comedy and laughing can lift spirits. I allowed myself to dwell in my slow process, but now I am just going to keep laughing. Life is a rigid game we all have to play--we can either fall under the pressure, or laugh over every road bump. I am going to work hard to getting back to laughing.

My friends, as I slowly fall alseep right on my computer, I wish you the best. I wish you the best in laughter, in pursuit and in life. Thank you for all you have taught. Apparently, I need my friends more than I ever have. Take care!

Nick James

Stronger than ever.

In my last post I discussed my negative views on romance. I said romance sucks and called it pretentious. The responses I received pointed out some great points. One reader told me that romance is a factor in love, it is not love. I liked that point and it made me feel hopeful. The point of me bringing this up is not to get back on the topic, but to point out a funny, but ironic story. Here is what love brought for one couple.

Watch this video!

I feel myself being overwhelmed with apathy lately. I’m finding it a chore to return phone calls, I avoid conversation, I lack excitement, and I won’t allow my mind to process thought—rather I play music full blast and just listen. I live a great life, but my problem is anxiety. I cannot do the same thing for too long. Los Angeles is my dream town, but the life I am pursuing is unrealistic if some significant income isn’t a resource. I have an awful love/hate relationship with home. I know that I should go back to Ohio and get my degree, but I cannot get over the idea of being there again. I continue to have my friends and family ask me what is wrong, but I refuse to answer the question. I’ve avoided talking to anyone all day. This has nothing to do with being upset at anyone. The only person I am mad at is me. I fear going home to be viewed as a failure or a joke. I fear to go home with the feeling that I quit. A good friend, who I’ve ticked off, told me that me going home isn’t quitting, just building more of a foundation so I can come back stronger than ever. I agree with that, but why can’t I believe it?

I've typed four paragraphs and deleted them all. I'm clearly tapped out and not in the mood to write. Take care everyone.

Nick James

teaching....learning.

Today my roommate and I were driving home. We passed an American Idol sign, and the hilarity that followed was great. The following was my roommate’s reaction to the sign.

Roommate: Nick it’s an American Idol sign!

Nick: What a great show, I just love it.

Roommate: I’m going to hurry home so you can blog about it! Take a picture!

Nick: (half denying the truth in his statement) whatever!

Roommate: I’m Nick, living in LA. I’m going to be something and here is why! (Mocking my OB writing style).

Nick: (Laughs out of control, with tears running down his cheeks).

Although I was being mocked, I understand how funny this conversation was. I’m a natural born cheese ball. I can make something out of nothing and it often times is looked upon pretty awkwardly. Perhaps I don’t offer anything tangible in my blogs, but I just can’t help but to express something that excites me. I’m often called dramatic, girly, or crazy for allowing myself to get so excited. Truth is—I’m a happy guy. Things make me happy; big or small.

Today the sun was shining, and summer was in the air. This is such a treat, because in Ohio I’d still be getting used to the winter. A friend here in LA is in the process of moving, so I joined Ian in helping him move. It was a great time—a group of people working to help each other out. A driving force is so much more intense when multiple people are sharing a goal. Not to mention, it felt great to have a social life again. So great, that I agreed to eat out TWICE today. Not only is that completely out of my budget, but it is a ridiculous health choice. Oh well, I wouldn’t compromise forming friendships for petty things.

Romance sucks. I’m not good at it and I’m not willing to get better. I can determine how I feel, but I can’t convince myself to pursue it. Perfect people walk up to me, but I let them walk by. It is obnoxious, but the fact is…romance sucks. I’m not good at it and I’m not willing to get better (noted repetition). Romance will come for me in 20 years, when I am mentally able to handle it. There is so much to get done while I am young—I cannot let my desire for something so pretentious burden my potential. I had what I consider ideal, and now everything else seems to fall short. I’m 20; I’m young—why worry.

With so many of your posts to go read and think about, I am going to end mine short tonight. Some days are good for teaching, others are good for learning. Tonight, I will learn from you.

Take care and sorry for the lousy post,
Nick James.